More trouble with words

by maggie

The only reason I don’t lie in bed awake at night wondering if there is a dog, is because I’m an atheist and not an agnostic. It seems it’s time for a biannual rank on living with dyslexia. apologies for unoriginality.

I’ve really enjoyed the last fortnight making things, climbing on the roof and solving problems. All that doing has made the problem with words even more acute when they crop up. being surrounded by piles of stuff has in away made the struggle with words even more apparent. It’s tiring building a shed and it’s tiring looking for vocabulary.

It’s most obvious when I loose nouns – there’s no time to wait for them to get hungry and come home. I need stuff now!

  • green things are reasonably self explainatory
  • then there’s a dozen different shaped pieces of wood (back side side front front, back… )
  • lots of types of screws and nails
  • then the written word can’t really do justice to the hand movements for ladder, screwdriver or b… ? bucket

I can see in my head quite clearly the order needed to do something: find and move, cut, position, nail, but the day labourer tells me I only use half the necessary words for clear instructions. I don’t know whether that’s because I assume she has as good situational awareness than I do or words really do go missing between my brian and my tongue.

I know colours often come out wrong. I see the thing quite clearly and then the sound I hear I realise isn’t correct. it’s frustrating for everyone. How can anyone help me find the green Humm-ha, when it’s actually a red spoon.

i try and keep all the tools in the same place so that they can be found, but there are two of us and I have the memory of a goldfish. Sometime I remember I left the steel tape on the roof, some times I don’t. And then the day labourer asks me were she left something…

I suppose what’s made me more conscious of my misplaced vocabulary is that although building doesn’t take me much discussion, correct information is crucial when it is needed.

“Please pass me 10 70mmm screws and a phillips screw driver,” is much more useful and efficient than what I’m thinking and having to work to translate – ‘in the hand now, bag of small shiny things by your foot. No the other foot!’

Writing this I’m thinking that it’s much easier to write abstract thinking discussions and speak them. That is as long as I can nail the spelling and haven’t Malaproped my way into a whole bunch of neologism.

What frustrates me most about the assistance for dyslexia is that it seems to be focused on schools and exams, when what I would like to know is where i can find my vocab when it’s goes AWOL.

As much as I have enjoyed all the exercise and sense of achievement in building the shed I don’t think I could only work with my hands and never engage my brain in the high-falutin stuff. I shall just have to remember all that elbow room I found and problem solving in the fresh air and make sure i take advantage of it in the future.

Next week I shall try and produce something lighter.